Sentence Patterns: These are only a few of the many ways you can add variety to your sentences. Don't forget to use compound and complex sentences where appropriate.
*Use strong active verbs.
Ex. Two problems perplexed the student.
*Ask a question.
Ex. Who settled the American colonies?
*Use an exclamatory sentence.
Ex. Surrender Dorothy!
*Open with an adverb.
Ex. Wisely, Helen made her course choices.
*Open with a prepositional phrase.
Ex. During the day he read.
*Write a sentence in which the verb precedes the subject.
Ex. Beside the house grew a large maple tree.
*Use conversation or a quotation.
Ex. "If they turn me down, how will they do it?" he asked.
*Use apposition.
Ex. My father, a wise man, gave me serious advice.
*Open with an adverbial clause.
Ex. After he seized control, the situation changed drastically.
*Use parallel
structure in words, phrases, clauses and sentences.
Ex. He drew her to him, whispered in her ear, and kissed her.
Transition cues
to show addition: again, moreover, and , not , and then, too, besides, equally important, first, second (etc.), finally, lastly, further, what's more, furthermore
to show time: at length, later immediately thereafter, previously, soon, formerly, next, after a few hours, first, second (etc.), afterwards, next
cues that make the reader stop and compare: but, notwithstanding, although, yet, on the other hand, although this is true, and yet, on the contrary, while this is true, however, after all, conversely, still, for all that, simultaneously, nevertheless, in contrast, meanwhile, nonetheless, at the same time, in the meantime
to give examples: for instance, for example, to demonstrate, to illustrate, as an illustration, in any event, that is
to emphasize: obviously, in fact, as a matter of fact, indeed, in any case
to repeat: in brief, in short, as I have said, as I have noted, in other words
to introduce conclusions: hence, therefore, accordingly, consequently, thus, as a result
to summarize: in brief, on the whole, summing up, to conclude, in conclusion
Improving Sentence Style
- What style of sentences can you find? List the number of loose, balanced, parallel, and periodic sentences. If you have no sentences of one of these types in your paper, rewrite some sentences in that style.
- How long are your sentences? Count words in the paper, count sentences, and divide to arrive at an average length.
- Find your longest sentence. What is the length of the sentence before it? After it? If that long sentence is not either preceded or followed by a short sentence, change one of them to a short sentence.
- What forms are your sentences? Count simple, compound, complex, and compound-complex sentences. If you do not have variety rewrite some sentences to include these sentence types.
- Count the number of to be verbs (is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been). Find three that can better be expressed as action verbs and rewrite the sentences that way.
- Count parallel constructions. If there are fewer than three in the paper, rewrite three sentences so they contain parallel elements.
- How do your sentences begin? If more than half of your sentences begin with the subject, rewrite them in a way that varies the beginning.
- Check your comma use by applying these four rules:
a. Use a comma before and, but, for, or, not, so, yet, and still when those words join independent clauses.
b. Use a comma between all terms in a series.
c. Use a comma(s) to set off parenthetical openers.
Have you used any semicolons? If not, find a sentence or a pair of sentences that would be better punctuated with a semicolon and rewrite.
Have you used any dashes? If not, find a sentence that would improve with a dash and rewrite.
Have you inverted any sentences? If not, rewrite one to do so.
Find all which clauses and rewrite half of them to eliminate which.
Eliminate as many of, in, to, and by's as you can.
Find all instances of there is or there are and eliminate as many as possible.
Find all instances of it with no antecedent and eliminate.
Find all instances of this or that used without a noun. Add a noun or rewrite.
Have you used quotation marks? Check for correctness.
Have you used apostrophes or colons? Do you need to?
Is your diction appropriate for your audience? Check for slang, trite expressions, and garbage words. Eliminate as necessary.
What AP Readers Long to See
*Read the prompt. It hurts to give a low score to someone who misread the prompt but wrote a good essay.
*Do everything the prompt asks. Most writers focus on a few strategies and never fully answer the question.
*Think before you write. Which strategies are used and how do the answer the prompt?
*Plan your response. It is not easy for the reader to pick over an essay attempt to decipher sentences. A little organization will help you avoid extensive editing.
*Make a strong first impression. Build your opening response. Don't parrot the prompt word for word. The reader knows it from memory.
*Begin your response immediately. Do not take a circuitous route with generalizations.
*Be thorough and specific. Do not simply "point out" strategies. Explain how they are used, give examples, and show how they establish what the question is asking. No long quotes!
*Use clear transitions that help the reader follow the flow of your essays. *Keep your paragraphs organized; do not digress.
*Resist putting in a "canned" quotation or critic's comment if it does not fit. *You will get a response from your reader but it will not be the one you want. *Write to express, not to impress. Keep vocabulary and syntax within your zone of competence. Students who inflate their writing often inadvertently entertain, but seldom explain.
*Demonstrate that you understand style. Show the reader how the author has developed the selection to create the desired effect. This indicates that you understand the intricacies of the creative process.
*Maintain an economy of language: saying much with few words. The best student writers see much, but say it quite succinctly. Often ideas are embedded rather than listed.
*Let your writing dance with ideas and insights. You can receive a 6 or a 7 with a lockstep approach, but the essays that earn 8's and 9's expand to a wider perspective.
*Write legibly. If a reader cannot read half the words (especially at 4:30 P.M. on the sixth day of a reading) you will not get a fair reading - even if your essay is passed on to a reader with keener eyesight. Patience decreases as the reading progresses.
*Let your work stand on it's own merits. Avoid penning "pity me" notes ("I was up all night." "I have a cold," etc.) to the reader.
