To Write

Lord Byron:

But words are things, and a small drop of ink,
Falling, like dew, upon a thought, produces
That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think.

Musings

Contemplating a new school year, I realize that one of the true bonuses of teaching arises from the unique opportunity to begin fresh each year. A new set of students, a new set of possibilities.  I look forward to the opportunities that await.

I have never bought into the philosophy: “Don’t smile until Christmas break”.  What’s up with that?  Does someone really believe that there will be any true success with students who are simply afraid or feel absolutely no connection at all?  Gaining a student’s respect while keeping standards high creates a much stronger learning environment, both for the student and the teacher. 

So tomorrow we begin anew.  Who knows what the journey holds, but I definitely look forward to the travel, smiling along the way.

Actively Inactive

“Hey, Mom, I am here and I am fine.” So thankful. “Oh, but there was an accident right in front of me.”

”Wait, WHAT?” Heart drops, stomach tightens, nausea sets in – then pure and complete thankfulness – God is good. I can’t remember how many times I prayed for her as she traveled.

The hardest job I’ve ever had doesn’t consist of actively “doing” anything, but of letting go and allowing my child to “do” on her own. Sitting back and allowing is much, much more difficult than actively “butting in”.

Thank you, Lord for the avenue of prayer. And thank you for caring about my child even more than I do. Help me to remember this and know that I can ALWAYS have an active part in her life through prayer.

Unexpected Events

 

So, Matt and I finally get on a solid, consistent work-out schedule (at 5 each morning) only to drive into the parking lot on Thursday and find it dark (both the parking lot and the gym).  You’d think I would be shocked, frustrated yes, shocked, no.  This has actually happened to us once before in another Texas city. 

I will never understand why a club would just shut down without giving any kind of notice to its members.  I realize that life happens, but surely they had an idea that the gym would be closing before they actually locked the door and put up the sign.  Irritation set in.  We needed to remain on the schedule that was working for us and we needed a gym. Thankfully, there is the YMCA.  Still not knowing what was occurring with our previous gym, we signed up and began working out once again. 

But I can’t say I am sorry that we signed up for the gym.  That membership allowed us to begin working out together and save a puppy from certain death (but that’s a story for another blog).

We may never know why certain instances occur in our lives, but each helps to create a small piece of who we are and who we are to become.  How we choose to handle those instances and how we allow them to affect us – that is left up to each individual.  Life is never certain.  Thank goodness, if it was the road along our journey would be a pretty boring place.  And then it really would be the destination and not the journey that mattered.

Irony, Bradbury, Books

As technology continues its rapid and universal sweep throughout our country, I often wonder about what may be lost in the process. Now don't get me wrong, as I sit here and type this blog, I appreciate the ability to be able to type on a computer and post electronically. But I am worried that as with many aspects of our lives, we have lost the idea of balance. Ray Bradbury warns us over and over about this possibility through his works. He doesn't completely "diss" technology but cautions against what can be lost without a balance.

Ironically, it may eventually come to the point where his very cautions are relayed to the reader through technology itself. The newest technological "toy" allows one to download "books" onto an electronic hand-held device. I know for many this is ideal, and yes, it may take away the load of textbooks that students must carry back and fourth to school. But I am saddened by the possibility that an actual book may eventually become obsolete.

Maybe it has something to do with senses or that my eyes begin to blur and my head to hurt when I spend too long looking at a computer, but I want to be able to feel the book in my hands. From the crispness of the pages of a new novel to the soft, velvety feel of an well-worn book, I want the appeal to the senses that a bound book brings. I want to sit in a comfortable chair and hold the book (not the computer) in my hands. And what about pictures? Sure they can be added to the new techy book as well, but I will never forget the wonder and enjoyment of sitting with my child and reading a book with beautiful pictures, each of us holding a page in our hands.

Rambling thoughts, yes, but there is an essay in there somewhere. One that someday I will write. But until then, I just pray that should I attempt to publish those thoughts, there will still be a non-electronic book or magazine available in which to submit them.

Friends

So often we take friendships for granted. Last year when I realized that we were moving over 500 miles away, I knew that my most diffcult adjustment would be leaving my two closest friends (we raised our children together). For over 17 years, they were just always there - a part of my life that was comfortable and expected. We were fortunate enough to work in the same school, seeing one another daily. Their different personalities meshing beautifully with my own. Their companionship and influence enriching my life. New experiences awaited me, but would I be the same without them? Would I lose a piece of myself by leaving them so far away? A sadness enveloped me. I moved forward, at least physically. The summer was tough. After 18 years in one place, I was in a new town sans friends, students or family.

However once school began, I made several wonderful discoveries: I wasn't less without my close friends, I was better because of them. Even without daily conversation, they were and will always be a large part of who I am and why I am. They may be farther away but always in my heart.

And even more amazing, the Lord has provided some awesome friends here. Truthfully, I did not expect to make close friendships, great acquaintances - yes - but really good friends - too much to ask. God is good! My life is blessed and will continue to be blessed by those who make a difference in my life. I can only pray that I will be the kind of friend to them that they have been and are to me.

Logically Emotional

Why do we have to be ruled by our emotions?

Why are emotions so fickle?

Maybe vulcans have it right.

My emotions by affecting me – affects others.

I realize this logically, but ironically, it is those very emotions that keep me from acting on such logic.

Emotions run deep and can cause such conflicts. They continually get us in trouble as they trample our logic and speed haphazardly ahead to our downfall.

"Wait! Stop!" screams our logic, but the emotions stumble on, tripping and falling yet moving continually forward.

How do we tame them? How do we keep them in check?

Yet, there's the rub. Keeping emotions in check equals keeping them pent up inside. Keeping them pent up inside equals stress and physical maladies.

So the more difficult question is how to let the emotions out effectively keeping them bottled up until such outlet can be gained.

"Fools rush in where angels fear to tread."

Emotions make us human. Define us as individuals; allow us to experience some of the most jouful and intense moments of our lives.

Maybe it is vital that we experience such negative emotions in order to make the positive ones much more powerful.

But the eternal question will always remain how to balance emotional reactions with logical thought. To force ourselves to stop in a heated moment and again only when logic has had a chance to speak as well.

Such coupling will forever remain a task, easier for some, but a task all the same. But in order to experience the beautiful, life-changing, exciting moments, it is a task that is well worth the struggle.

When emotions trample my logic and stifle my productivity, logic must be allowed to stand up, wipe itself off, and take a breath.

It is a balancing act in need of a practiced acrobat.